Truth about Tiger Moms

This excerpt is from my latest Toastmaster's speech

Hello all, today I am going to talk about a little controversial topic which is all over the news lately.

For the uninitiated, a memoir of a mom released this month called "Battle hymn of the Tiger Mother". It’s about how an Asian mom raised her two daughters in USA. A small preview was released in Wall Street Journal. That published bit was so controversial that stirring debate raged over internet and the Asian mom and her daughters made it to the cover of this week's Time magazine. Before I start talking about anything remotely related to this topic, let me tell you what the passage preview contained. In the passage Amy, the mother makes her 7 yr old daughter Lulu learn and play a piece in piano continuously for 4 hrs without a water or restroom break. Any grade other than A is unacceptable in their household. Once, she rejects her daughter's greeting card, saying that it was not good enough. In short she plays the role of a tiger mom whose cubs she thinks would one day rule the world.


There has been a huge uproar against the book, but surprisingly it made it to the bestsellers list in the first week itself and its selling like hotcakes in e-book version as well. I am not here to build a case for or against the book, but instead I am here to talk about my experience growing up as a kid in a middle class family in India.

If you take this book to India and read out aloud a few passages in the street, very few would be surprised or create a stir about these passages.It’s not because, Asians are tough parents, but it’s more, a result of making most of the limited opportunities one gets there. Things have changed quite a bit now in the last 10-15 years because of the economic boom. Back in the 80s and 90s, the only grade acceptable was indeed 'A', because anything lower would not get you into a good school. Every parent wanted their child to become an engineer or a doctor, because anything else might not lead to a luxurious or good life. None of the sportsmen were millionaires. Music and arts were respected, but not very well paid. Twenty years back my city in India had two engineering colleges and one med school and its population was 1/2 million. Only thousand odd kids could go to these schools, so the parents had to assume the role of a hard task masters, there was no other alternative. "Survival of the fittest" mechanism fit the theory, I still remember the day when I had finished my middle school, my parents had to stand in line for the whole day just to get an application form of a prestigious private high school. Though I never made it to that school, I still think I turned out ok.


For the lack of time I am going to wrap it up here or else I can go on and on about many more tiger parenting stories.I don’t know whether it was right or wrong or whether the same Asian methods should to be replicated here, but what I am definitely sure of is that if your kid is trying to play a piece for four hours, he definitely deserves a restroom break. I am not a parent yet, so no personal tiger parenting stories from me. But I am sure most of us in this room have their own sweet little story to tell.
Thank you.