And miles to go before I sleep

Yesterday was my last day at my company and I got a lump in my throat by evening. I just could not say goodbye or thank you to my team or my managers. This was the place where I belonged, I was the first recruit for my team back in 2006, when they started our center. I was 25, had no idea where I wanted to go , what I wanted to do. I had quit my previous job (on a whim) on a Monday and already had planned to pack my bags and go back to India. Just applied to a company on a friend’s recommendation. Surprisingly, I got called the very next day and by Thursday I had my personal interview done. There were a couple of directors in the panel, who told me that it doesn’t matter what I know, what matters is what I do with it. I took their word and joined them the next Monday, didn’t care about the money (which I should have) or the field (IB), just went with my gut.

The last six years were fun. Worked in mortgages in the worst possible time, put in long hours, got butchered most of the weekends and yet somehow managed to be on talking terms with my wife :) . I learnt the art of maintaining sanity, even when your best friends get laid off, even when the business folk use choicest of abuses every other day, even when a 5 person team has to do 10 people job due to budget cuts and to top it all, even when after all this most of the team gets a zero bonus due to a “bad year”. Gone were the days when 15-20% bonus made everybody droop, we were thankful just to keep our jobs now. Yet somehow throughout this turmoil I developed an affinity to my company. I could not be bitter at all, for what I learnt at my company far outweighed the hours I put in for them. Made great friends, actually enjoyed my work, and yes a couple of promotions helped the cause as well.

Last year, I thought now was the time for a change and I need to reenergize myself. I wanted to go back to school. Gave my GMAT, applied to a few schools and got admitted in most of them. After going through the economics and logistics part I narrowed upon IIMC. The road was easy till now. In the last couple of months it dawned upon me, how incredibly difficult it is to walk away from everything which you built brick by brick for so many years. I had a family, friends, a home, cars and a steady income. To turn back on everything, pack up the bags and proceed to India has been quite an eye opening experience. Although everybody around me is pretty appreciative, the fear of the unknown looms large. I am pretty sure most of my batchmates might be going through the same kind of emotions in varied degrees. Friday was my last day at work and I still have no clue what I am going to do come Monday.I am 31 now, have a vague idea about where I want to go and what I want to do.Lets hope the next one year journey turns out to be interesting and enjoyable.

Till then, as Robert Frost says in “Stopping by Woods on a snowy evening”
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.